It is now the end of April, despite what the weather may be throwing at us. I'm getting ready to pay my final rent payment at Kurt's house. This is a relief. Unfortunately, that means I need to start thinking about packing things away and moving to the Galvin's around the lake. I'm not sure how long I'll be there, or what's coming after. I don't know exactly how I'll manage the adjustment back to a more dorm-like lifestyle after living with a full kitchen and whatnot for two years. But, I still believe it's the best choice for me right now, at least for the summer or until I get established in a full-time teaching job, which will hopefully be sometime this fall. Not all is hopeless though, since I'll most likely be training as a server at Ruby's in June. I'll have the means to make a little more money at least.
But, first things first, I need to start organizing my possessions for transport to my new living location. This has been made slightly difficult by the last student day at school now being May 30th, the day before I need to move out. It is now necessary for me to have everything packed up and ready to go before that date so that I am able to just spend May 31st moving everything around the "corner" of the lake. Knowing that I'll only have the evenings to work with, I know that I need to start. Probably very soon. I'll be downsizing a bit, so I'll need to be extra prepared.
I don't understand why the beginning of summer is always this way for me. For the last five years now, I've had some huge move. The last four has been moving back home after college, and then last summer I had to move after college and then move from home back to Warsaw. It was two big moves pretty close together. And now this summer I'm moving again and taking kitchen things back to Wooster because I'm too poor to rent my own apartment!
Regardless, I'm looking forward to getting out of here, away from Tiffany and Courtney. I'm getting rather sick of them running the house all the time. I guess it would be different if I was friends with Tiffany and closer to Courtney and I actually knew all the people who were over here all the time. But I don't. I wish I blended in with this whole mess more just so I didn't feel so awkward all the time. I don't want to feel like I'm hiding in my room every night when I come home. But I don't really have anywhere else to go. I try to sit here in the kitchen and do some reading and take notes and do some work, but then they come storming in with loud conversation and start making dinner or something and completely "dominate the space" as Dad would say. Now they've got a movie in, loud. And they're laughing and talking, loudly. Yes, I do like this movie, but you haven't invited me to be a part of your powwow, so I'm not gonna barge in, but I also don't want to go hide away like a hermit. So I'm left continuing to sit here, awkwardly.
Super.
Anyway.
I'm debating trying to get into working summer school as well. I really would love to only work at one place, but I also understand that it would look good to have taught in Warsaw's summer programming. It would expose me to more Warsaw personnel. I was not given a letter of intent as the emails said we all would, but I can still fill something out online...I guess, that's what it's kind of starting to look like anyway.
Whichever way the wind blows me next, I probably won't be ready for it, but at the same time, I'm ready for things to change a bit. I don't like feeling like a nomad, but that's just the phase of life I'm in. For all I know, Becky, whose graduating from Grace this year and just quit working at Ruby Tuesday's, could get a job back in Warsaw for the fall, and she suggested she and I get an apartment together since we'd both be in the same boat. I love Becky. She would be a wonderful change. But that would require yet another big move. I guess we'll see. As usual.
Let the next phase begin...
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Today is April 16.
Well the last 24 hours have been super fantastic, that's for sure. That's verbal irony people. Saying the opposite of what you mean, not to be confused with sarcasm. I have been pushed to my limit of self-control with students with emotional disabilities, forced to work two jobs at the same time at Ruby's, breaking a sweat as I go while still trying to be peppy and presentable, got into a bubble of stress related tension with Kal, discovered my dreams of doing something out of the box for Wade have been dashed and slaughtered mercilessly by life, and then woke up this morning to come to school and discover I now have to work half an hour to forty-five minutes a day without being paid for it because they're budget's short, and then be pushed to the limit by an ED student right off the bat.
WHAM!
Is it summer break yet? This week is the beginning of the end, but a hellish end it will be. Counting today, we have nine school days before the second round of ISTEP is upon us, which will be followed by F&P testing (reading levels), and then Acuity for the nine weeks after that. Can you say excited??! I can't. It's as if the world of education says, "Hmmm, it looks like they may have some life in them now after Spring Break from the weather warming up, with hope of summer. Let's squelch them out 'til they're dry! Muah hahahahahahaha!!"
The good news is I have one of my letters of recommendation re-dated and attached to my online application for Warsaw. That's coming together somewhat nicely (knock on wood). It's nice that it's already been filled out, I just need to update it a bit.
I looked online for Tippy Valley, but they don't have any jobs posted yet. I'll keep an eye out, but I'm not even sure where to get an application. I didn't see anything on their website. When they post a position, if I can't see a way to apply, I'll just have to call over and see if they're still paper/pencil or what. Or, probably pen, rather than pencil. But whatever!
One of the hosts at Ruby's quit. All his hours were being given away even though he'd been there forever so now we're short a busser and a host. He did both. This is good because it allows me more hours as soon as I'm ready to take them, it's bad because it will be harder to get time off when I need it. It's also bad because he was one of the ones that was easy to get along with. I'm gonna miss him. He had spunk. Gave the dreary place a little zest. I didn't feel like I stuck out so much. Haha!
This is the third week I haven't been scheduled for BYC. Well, I guess that's not entirely accurate, I was scheduled one day a few weeks ago. I guess I'll need to have a conversation with Amber to see if she's taking me off the schedule for good or what, because if she's not going to need to use me, I can pick up more hours at Ruby's. Sure, I'll lose $200 for not working BYC for two months, but I'll gain up to $40 or so a week if I work both those nights at Ruby's. You do the math.
I'm not sure how long Randy plans on having me work with Cami on volleyball stuff either. I've done four sessions now, and he's planning on another one next Friday. If he wants to have me do the rest of the school year, I will be more than happy to. That's an easy $25 for an hour of teaching what I love.
I've aquired, or rather, reflamed, my obsession with Sharpie and Post-It. If I were rich, I'd buy everything to do with them. Post-It notes are just super great, and Sharpie has the best pens in the world. There's a pack of twelve that has ten different awesome colors at Staples for $20. I asked Kal if he would judge me if I spent $20 on twelve Sharpie pens. He said that was up to me "haha". He loves them too. So maybe we could just share :) Of course...I love me my pens (wow, that's terrible English).
Speaking of terrible English, I was thinking this morning as I cut off some terrible music (because it's more slop than art anymore), that the lyrics of today's top hits could be sliced up (if they were school appropriate, which most are NOT) and corrected grammatically by an elementary student as a project. What has America come to? We getting "more stupider" each and every day, despite our technological and scientific advances (the bad grammar there WAS, in fact, intended).
It's like education has become more of a formality than a treasure.
However, in my most recent readings, I'm beginning to wonder if it's simply because we have a general shift from middle-class to poverty. The middle class has taken a real beating and our coutry is slipping much deeper into poverty. Yes, we are still a first world coutnry will many benifits that most of the world does not have. But compared to what we have been, our poverty levels have risen and our culture is reflecting that. School is not as respected as it once was. The "way" and the expectations of school are very middle class and do not fit to other lifestyles.
Whatever the case, I'm sad to see appreciation for education slipping. As if teaching students who have given up on themselves isn't hard enough, now they're taught by culture to simply not care. And then, somehow, this is the fault of the teacher.
What a messed up world we live in.
WHAM!
Is it summer break yet? This week is the beginning of the end, but a hellish end it will be. Counting today, we have nine school days before the second round of ISTEP is upon us, which will be followed by F&P testing (reading levels), and then Acuity for the nine weeks after that. Can you say excited??! I can't. It's as if the world of education says, "Hmmm, it looks like they may have some life in them now after Spring Break from the weather warming up, with hope of summer. Let's squelch them out 'til they're dry! Muah hahahahahahaha!!"
The good news is I have one of my letters of recommendation re-dated and attached to my online application for Warsaw. That's coming together somewhat nicely (knock on wood). It's nice that it's already been filled out, I just need to update it a bit.
I looked online for Tippy Valley, but they don't have any jobs posted yet. I'll keep an eye out, but I'm not even sure where to get an application. I didn't see anything on their website. When they post a position, if I can't see a way to apply, I'll just have to call over and see if they're still paper/pencil or what. Or, probably pen, rather than pencil. But whatever!
One of the hosts at Ruby's quit. All his hours were being given away even though he'd been there forever so now we're short a busser and a host. He did both. This is good because it allows me more hours as soon as I'm ready to take them, it's bad because it will be harder to get time off when I need it. It's also bad because he was one of the ones that was easy to get along with. I'm gonna miss him. He had spunk. Gave the dreary place a little zest. I didn't feel like I stuck out so much. Haha!
This is the third week I haven't been scheduled for BYC. Well, I guess that's not entirely accurate, I was scheduled one day a few weeks ago. I guess I'll need to have a conversation with Amber to see if she's taking me off the schedule for good or what, because if she's not going to need to use me, I can pick up more hours at Ruby's. Sure, I'll lose $200 for not working BYC for two months, but I'll gain up to $40 or so a week if I work both those nights at Ruby's. You do the math.
I'm not sure how long Randy plans on having me work with Cami on volleyball stuff either. I've done four sessions now, and he's planning on another one next Friday. If he wants to have me do the rest of the school year, I will be more than happy to. That's an easy $25 for an hour of teaching what I love.
I've aquired, or rather, reflamed, my obsession with Sharpie and Post-It. If I were rich, I'd buy everything to do with them. Post-It notes are just super great, and Sharpie has the best pens in the world. There's a pack of twelve that has ten different awesome colors at Staples for $20. I asked Kal if he would judge me if I spent $20 on twelve Sharpie pens. He said that was up to me "haha". He loves them too. So maybe we could just share :) Of course...I love me my pens (wow, that's terrible English).
Speaking of terrible English, I was thinking this morning as I cut off some terrible music (because it's more slop than art anymore), that the lyrics of today's top hits could be sliced up (if they were school appropriate, which most are NOT) and corrected grammatically by an elementary student as a project. What has America come to? We getting "more stupider" each and every day, despite our technological and scientific advances (the bad grammar there WAS, in fact, intended).
It's like education has become more of a formality than a treasure.
However, in my most recent readings, I'm beginning to wonder if it's simply because we have a general shift from middle-class to poverty. The middle class has taken a real beating and our coutry is slipping much deeper into poverty. Yes, we are still a first world coutnry will many benifits that most of the world does not have. But compared to what we have been, our poverty levels have risen and our culture is reflecting that. School is not as respected as it once was. The "way" and the expectations of school are very middle class and do not fit to other lifestyles.
Whatever the case, I'm sad to see appreciation for education slipping. As if teaching students who have given up on themselves isn't hard enough, now they're taught by culture to simply not care. And then, somehow, this is the fault of the teacher.
What a messed up world we live in.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
This IS the Post Title...
Why do I even bother trying to keep up a blog? I can't keep a journal either. I'm terrible at keeping things updated. I'm terrible at writing things down. It's hard to figure out why I do much of anything anymore. Why did I leave home again? Where exactly is this "big" dream taking me? How am I better off? When are these little nightmares going to end? When will I stop being so flimsy and pathetic? I have so much yet so little on my mind right now. There's simply no way to put it all into words.
I need to get moving on updating my resume and application to Warsaw and start the application process with Tippy Valley. But I've lost most all motivation to do so. I'm so ready to be done with school I don't want to start thinking about doing it all over again next year. I know I don't want to be stuck as an assistant again, but it was nice not having to take anything home. But it's not my dream by any means. Yet I don't want to move any deeper into "real life". Being an adult has it's advantages, sure, but it sucks.
My phone doesn't hold a charge at all when I make a phone call. I called Mom today and we had a quick five minute conversation and it started beeping telling me there was a low battery. I charged it last night. It's been out of the wall plug for three and a half hours. Whatever. It gets the charge back after I hang up. So stupid. So really, I can only text for the most part, unless I'm in a place I can plug my phone in. I'm going to have to start carrying my charger everywhere. Fantastic.
I'm ready for it to be summer for a whole lot of reasons. Spring weather is finally here (I just hope it stays), and I can feel summer all the way down in my bones. When I got home from work last night, I just sat there in my car with the door opened, listening to whatever those singing bugs are and enjoying the warmth on my skin. I can't wait for the freedom to be outside, not cramped up in the school building, hunched over a table that's too short for me trying to figure out where everyone is and where they're going and what they need. I'm ready to just work at one place, although we did get an email this week that summer employment for summer school will be available to all who worked the 2012-2013 school year. So I may do that for a week or two. Another thing I can put on my resume. That I still have to update.
Great.
I need to get moving on updating my resume and application to Warsaw and start the application process with Tippy Valley. But I've lost most all motivation to do so. I'm so ready to be done with school I don't want to start thinking about doing it all over again next year. I know I don't want to be stuck as an assistant again, but it was nice not having to take anything home. But it's not my dream by any means. Yet I don't want to move any deeper into "real life". Being an adult has it's advantages, sure, but it sucks.
My phone doesn't hold a charge at all when I make a phone call. I called Mom today and we had a quick five minute conversation and it started beeping telling me there was a low battery. I charged it last night. It's been out of the wall plug for three and a half hours. Whatever. It gets the charge back after I hang up. So stupid. So really, I can only text for the most part, unless I'm in a place I can plug my phone in. I'm going to have to start carrying my charger everywhere. Fantastic.
I'm ready for it to be summer for a whole lot of reasons. Spring weather is finally here (I just hope it stays), and I can feel summer all the way down in my bones. When I got home from work last night, I just sat there in my car with the door opened, listening to whatever those singing bugs are and enjoying the warmth on my skin. I can't wait for the freedom to be outside, not cramped up in the school building, hunched over a table that's too short for me trying to figure out where everyone is and where they're going and what they need. I'm ready to just work at one place, although we did get an email this week that summer employment for summer school will be available to all who worked the 2012-2013 school year. So I may do that for a week or two. Another thing I can put on my resume. That I still have to update.
Great.
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